[written September 28, 2016]
I haven’t even seen the movie “Frozen”, but I don’t live under a rock so I have heard the famous song “Let it Go” enough that I can sing along. Today, I was reminded of that song while in Salt Lake City, Utah.
I am on the tail-end of a four-day work trip to Arizona followed by a two-day stint in Idaho for a wedding. While on the way back, my boyfriend and I missed our second flight from Salt Lake to Long Beach. Missing flights is nothing out of the ordinary, but after six days away from home and big plans to finally move into my new condo tomorrow, missing this flight was like being punched in the gut.
After huffing and puffing, crying in public (yikes!) and a pep talk from a very sensible partner, I could hear Elsa in the back of my mind. I am the kind of person who likes to plan ahead. I plan everything, and live by a tightly-packed color-coded calendar that guides me from moment to moment in life including scheduled relaxation time and yoga. It is no wonder that when something unexpected happens, several shifts have to take place in order for me to get back on track.
As I was having my episode of emotional distress and anxiety in the airport, my very patient and unphased partner could not understand the weight I placed on our return trip’s timing. “Your dog is fed. You have nowhere to be. What are you worried about?” he posed. I replied quite confidently, “I have the dog groomer at 9, the internet installation at ten, and a house cleaning tomorrow morning! What if I miss them?” Even as I write these words, I see how ridiculous they sounded. I was worried about things that could easily be changed but because life wasn’t going my way, I was angry and frustrated at the world. “It doesn’t matter,” he said.
After I dried my tears, I reached into my bag to check my eye makeup. “That doesn’t matter either,” he assured me. Granted, most men don’t put in the amount of time and effort into their physical appearances as women do before they leave the house but he was so right. I wish that I could live my life with less care about what others think, and less emotional attachment to things that bring no value to my life (like flight plans that are out of my control).
While I don’t think I will ever have the “don’t dwell on what you can’t control” attitude that he does to the same extent, I wish it were far easier for me to let go of my attachment to control and the need to force my life in certain directions. So you get a flat tire. So you forget your lunch at home in the fridge. These aren’t life-shattering things that should send us into disarray. I have my health. I have a patient man to hold my hand while I am on the phone with airline customer service. I have absolutely no reason to get wound up over this flight and I need to LET IT GO!
I am reminded of this once again at the start of the year as we all start to put plans into place to manage the next 12 months of our lives.
WHAT IF WE COULD JUST LET IT GO? <3